October 2017

          My name is Ryan Anthony Guillot. I am currently a senior at Jesuit High School and a member of the varsity cross country and track and field teams and a variety of other clubs, including Pro-Life Club, National Honors Society, Sodality, Campus Ministry, and Peer Support. I am also a member of Teen Cross and proud to be the St. Catherine of Siena parish CYO president for this school year. Reading this little bit of background information about who I am, you may get the impression that I have a strong faith life; and you would be right. However, I haven’t always been this way. Like many, faith and religion for me growing up was just something passed on to me at birth. It wasn’t something I could call my own, and I guess I just went with it because I was told to do so. Mass was always a struggle for me. Never understanding what was going on, I often became extremely bored to the point that I remember routinely falling asleep during the homily. Christmas just meant presents, and Easter just meant food and family. In short, religion for me was just a process of going through the motions. But that changed for me when I went on my first CYO trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
          Walking into the bus on the first day, I felt like a stranger. Many of the people on the trip were people I didn’t spend too much time with, and all of our activities on the trip – spelunking, mountain hiking, and white water rafting – were all new experiences for me. I knew immediately that if I was going to enjoy this trip, I’d have to get out of my comfort zone. At first it was difficult, but throughout the trip, I became more and more comfortable with the people I was with and made my way through each activity. Sure, I was branching out of my comfort zone, but I still wasn’t strengthening in my faith. We had mass and different opportunities during the trip to pray, but it was still just a routine to me and things weren’t changing. Then, on the last night of the trip, I was told we were going to have adoration. I knew vaguely what adoration was and the concept behind it, but it just sounded boring to me. To my surprise, it is still one of the best experiences of my life. There are no words to describe how I felt, what was going through my head, and just how exactly it changed me. All I know is that I wasn’t the same person who walked into that cabin that night. Later that night, while everyone else was asleep, I went outside the cabin to stand under the stars and the moonlight. And pray.  Not just an “Our Father” or a “Hail Mary” that wasn’t my own words. I just looked up at the sky and began to talk to God, to have a conversation with him. Like I said, I can’t describe exactly what changed in me that night, but I guess it can be summed up this way: I said yes to God; I chose Him for myself and not because I was being told to do so.
          From that point on, I began seeing how God was directing me constantly toward Him. My friends got me involved in Sodality at school. I went on the March for Life trip for the first time, and finally the cause for life meant something to me. And most importantly, I joined the cross country team. It may seem odd at first glance to think that cross country could do more for my faith than Sodality or the Pro-Life cause. But it’s true because of what it taught me: trust. So much of life can be a struggle for every person in his or her own way, and sometimes you just don’t know how you can continue and make it through. Running (for the sake of running) is much the same way. Halfway through a 4-5 mile run, your brain just tells you to stop, that it’s not worth it and just doesn’t make sense. However, the satisfaction of forcing yourself through that last mile or so of the run and finishing is well worth it. I’ve learned to trust my body to push me through the end of a long run or break my personal best in a race in the same way that I trust God to guide me through the struggles of my life. I have learned that I can’t get through life on my own, that I need God to guide me to the finish; and in doing so I recognize all that God has done for me. Now, in those moments of pain and suffering, I understand just how blessed I am; and I can’t help but look up to God and give thanks to Him through. In fact, before every race, I grab hold of the ground and say a Hail Mary to remind myself that every breath, every step, and every second of my life is not for myself, but for God and his greater glory. That Jesus Christ suffered immensely and died on the cross for me. So for Him, I will run my hardest.